Review: White Castle Microwavable Hamburgers
In all my travels over the years I have seen a lot of stuff, but never a White Castle. I’m sure at some point I have been near one, but unlike other elusive fast food establishments, I haven’t really looked for one either. Sliders just don’t make any sense to me. Why not just make them bigger? The appeal of tiny food escapes me. Is it supposed to be cute? I have seen White Castle frozen sliders in grocery stores for pretty much my whole life however. Why have I not given them a try?
Simple, frozen hamburgers aren’t fit for prison food. Stale buns, beef that doesn’t taste like it contains any beef, and what seems like caulk dressed up as cheese for Halloween are what make up this awful frozen travesty. Why am I trying these now? I couldn’t think of anything else to review. With that said, let’s delve into what could be a complete waste of money with White Castle’s Microwavable Hamburgers.
I wanted to get the cheeseburgers, but my local megamart was out. I read that a lot of people have problems cooking these things. There are all sorts of “special” ways to cook these burgers that you can find online, and people seem to swear by their odd techniques. I just followed the package and nuked them for sixty seconds. It worked for Freezer Burns, and they came out perfect for me too. Out of my microwave came perfectly steamed buns with an awesome onion beef smell that filled the room. I was surprised to say the least.
I cooked four sliders, and figured for testing purposes I would dress them differently. First up I went with just a slice of pickle. Awesome, awesome and more awesome. I have never had fresh White Castle, but frozen knocked my proverbial socks off. The beef is complemented extremely well by the reconstituted (no, that’s not a typo) grilled onions. The beef is also just beef and not some kind of pre-fabricated soy meatball. Toss all that in a soft roll and you have a winner. Kudos to the simplicity. I put various toppings such as cheese, mayo and ketchup on the other sliders, but plain was hands down the best.
The best comparison I can think of for these is a McDonald’s hamburger, but better. It is the reconstituted onions without a doubt that connects these two flavor-wise. Grilling them though gives White Castle the easy advantage. I now realize what I have been missing all these years. One thing that should be remembered is that these are the polar opposite of a thick juicy medium rare burger. That is a different animal and should be considered such. If you have a craving for onion-y beefy goodness and only a minute to spare, you owe it to yourself to fill your freezer with these flavor gems. While I still think sliders are stupid, I now completely understand the obsession with White Castle. Why can’t they just make the burgers… burger sized?
Our other White Castle reviews:
Pros: The best frozen burger maybe ever. Super soft rolls. Helen Keller could properly cook these with ease. Rehydrated onions shouldn't taste this good.
Cons: Now I want real White Castle damn it! McDonald's hamburgers are forever ruined for me.
Grubbing on-the-go: 10/10 if your car has a microwave. That probably isn't very safe though so 0/10
Price: $3.88 for a box of six