Review: Spicy Big Bite from 7-Eleven
7-Eleven doesn’t get much love from the fast food blogosphere. Sure the ready-made sandwiches suck, the drink selection can be abysmal, and trying to decide between hard-boiled eggs and a Lunchables for lunch makes one feel as if they live in an Orwellian future of quick serve blandness. 7-Eleven does however offer two things that kick serious ass; hot dogs and Slurpees. Google search the Spicy Big Bite and you won’t find much. That’s surprising considering it has been around forever. I have fond memories of grabbing one with friends after a long day at the skate park. That was over thirteen years ago. My old age aside, let’s delve into this hidden gem of fast food badassery; The 7-Eleven Spicy Big Bite.
I always load my Big Bite the same way; chili, cheese, onions, sauerkraut, jalapenos and the ubiquitous yellow mustard. Go big or go home. The Spicy Big Bite is kind of like a polish sausage and a hot dog had a child and infused it with capsicum. It has a coarser grind than a dog and way more heat than a polish sausage. The Spicy Big Bite has an unmistakable artificial quality that you can only get from factory generated meat tubes. Craft charcuterie this is not, and it doesn’t need to be. I have no clue what parts of what animals went into this, and I don’t care. It just tastes right. As a chef, I can usually break down how something is made and tell you how to recreate it just by tasting it. I’m not sure if the chili and cheese are indeed actual food, and I have no clue what combination of chemicals and stabilizers you need to make these, but I’ll be damned if this pseudo-food isn’t strangely delicious. School bus yellow nacho cheese sauce and chili with the texture of a thin and chunky toothpaste is the perfect topping for the Spicy Bite. The minced onions from a bag, kraut, stock pickled jalapenos and neon yellow mustard perfectly add texture and tang to this unholy meat masterpiece.
The Spicy Big Bite is juicy, tangy and brings just enough heat to actually satisfy a chili-head without overpowering the more subtle aspects such as the onions. Okay, nothing here is remotely subtle. This is big, bold and not for those who like to dine on the tamer side of the flavor spectrum.
At $2.19 and with all the optional free toppings, this might be the best value in the world of fast food. Just as much as there is a place in the world for fine cuisine consisting of some seared endangered species, sauced with wine from a craft vintner that only made 47 bottles, and served on linens sewn from the hairs of a Greek goddess, there is also a place in my heart for fantastic mystery meat eaten in a parking lot filled with broken beer bottles and stray cats. Good food is about balance and I think our culinary adventures through life should be the same.
Pros: This is actually spicy. Toppings. Fake everything. Price. Being young.
Cons: Most quick serve dogs. Forgetting napkins. Getting older.
Grubbing on-the-go: Mandatory and super messy
Overall GrubGrade: 9.25/10
More Info: 7-Eleven.com
Spicy Big Bite
It is bad for you