Review: Glazed Donut from Target (aka, conundrums for the male shopper)
Like many twenty-something year old males, I struggle with holiday shopping. All too often a trip to the store begins harmlessly as a morning “brainstorm session” as I contemplate what to buy loved ones.
But somewhere between wondering what size my sister is or if my dad would actually use that fly fishing gear, things take a turn towards yours truly. Soon that hour at Target turns into a day-long excursion spent reading comic books at Barnes and Noble or crushing some 11-year old in Madden at Gamestop, only to eventually lead me back to Target.
Inevitably, I leave empty-handed. Or mostly empty-handed, that is.
Somewhere in the midst of this pathetic display of materialistic gratitude, I realized I had yet to actually eat breakfast or lunch. Seeing as I’m not as intrepid as our friend Murray, I could not bring myself to sample to famous Target Hot Dog (besides, Target Food courts smell ingloriously similar to Chuck E. Cheese for me to go near.) Too thrifty to fall for a $1.49 20. oz soda but not yet desperate enough to devour the chocolate gift sets worth drooling over on shelves, I instead turned to my good friend Market Pantry.
Having disavowed Dunkin Donuts and gone perilously long without the always timely relief of fried refined white flour and palm oil-enhanced glaze, the sight of six donuts for $1.49 was too tempting to pass up.
A good yeast-raised glazed donut should have a squishy give when you first bite in, but dissolving chew once settled. These donuts (and yes, I refuse the absurdity of “doughnut) had both. The glaze was ridiculously sweet, but unlike Erin, I’m quite OK with that. This is a donut after all, not a croissant. The more important point to me is that the sweetness is imparted on two levels; one, the initial vanilla-flavored spike accompanied by the melt-in-your-mouth glaze, and two, the subtle, almost malted fried-dough airy sweetness that lingers in your mouth the rest of the day. Both counts were, you may say, satisfactory (bonus points for whoever can nail that seasonally-themed poetic reference).
Unlike the donuts my local Dunkin’ keeps on its shelves for goodness-knows-how-long, the glaze on these donuts — guaranteed fresh in a lockable plastic casing — remained ideal. Lasting through intense variations in frigid morning temperatures outside and intervals of Frosty the Snowman-killing heat in my car, the donut glaze remained set, but sticky on the return trip to my place of residence, proving both a lickable accompaniment and insular guard for the drying skin around my lips.
A hit-the-spot donut won’t wow you, but it will impart its aroma each one of your breaths for hours to come, and leave you with a feeling of satiety. Had I not had a cold and been completely devoid of the sense of smell, doubtless I would have found this to be the case. Weighing in at about two ounces it is not as large as some of the donuts I see in my local grocery stores, but at only 190 calories even regular consumption won’t put me at risk of dying within the next month.
This alone makes buying and eating six of such donuts worthwhile, because after a day battling the conundrums faced my the male shopper, I still have a lot to do.
Pros: Sturdy construction and very fresh for pre-packaged. Two-pronged sweetness. Glaze stays sticky. It's a glazed donut at 180 calories dude, what's not to like about that? Best part? Luther Burgers for leftovers
Cons: ADD in Target looking for Christmas Presents. Losing to 11-year olds in Madden. Luther Burgers for leftovers.
Price: $1.49 for box of six (on sale)
Overall GrubGrade: 7.50/10
More Info: Target.com
Glazed Raised Donuts from Target Market Pantry Calories: 180
Total Fat: 7 grams
Saturated Fat: 3 grams
Trans Fat: 0 grams
Cholesterol: 0 mg
Sodium: 220 mg
Total Carbs: 27 grams
Fiber: 1 gram
Sugars: 10 grams
Protein: 3 grams