Casual Breakfast Review Rundown, Entry Number 3: Waffle House
Did you know that when disaster strikes, FEMA uses the “Waffle House Index” to judge how bad the situation is? If a Waffle House in a questionable area is fully functional, said situation isn’t that big of a deal. If Waffle House is on back up generators, then the situation is serious. If Waffle House is closed, put your head between your legs and… well, you know the rest. Should it alarm you that the federal government uses a chain of diners known for drunken fights fueled by omelets stuffed with chili and cheese as an indicator of how much relief to bring to a crisis? Maybe, but that’s not the point of this review. I needed something to fill the first paragraph, and with that done let’s delve into the Breakfast All-Star Special from Waffle House. The description for the Breakfast All-Star Special is in picture form, so I will decipher it for you.
Two eggs, grits or hash browns, toast, choice of meat (bacon, sausage or city ham), and a waffle.
First let’s get to the bad stuff. Dining at Waffle House is like eating breakfast in an overly bright mens room. There is absolutely nothing pleasing about the aesthetics of Waffle House. After Burger King’s drab is fab blue/grey color scheme, Waffle House gets my vote for ugliest, least-inviting restaurant ever. I had to get that out of the way though, because everything else was flat out awesome. The over easy eggs and toast were just what they should be. The hash browns were fantastic. I got mine covered with American cheese and onions, but I should have left them plain. The hash browns were super crispy on the outside while still being slightly mushy on the inside.I have never understood why bacon and sausage tower over ham as the number one and two breakfast meats (see more love of ham). This humble slice of wet-cured ham easily destroys the other two breakfast proteins in the flavor department. This was really salty, a little sweet, and I’m not sure how else to describe it other than it tasted like super ham. Whether by itself or coupled with bites of runny eggs and toast, the city ham was easily a 9/10. My waffle looked pretty sad when it arrived. Kind of like the daddy Eggo that lost his soul to overworking and drinking long ago. It wasn’t too large and looked pretty frozen/generic. Though after adding some butter and syrup, it ended up tasting flat out delicious. They have sauce caddies at every table with a wide array of condiments to please any diner. From the Tabasco, salsa, and to the Heinz 57 sauce, there is something here for everyone.At $7.09, this mountain of food was an awesome deal as well. After the add-ons and a root beer, my total came to $10.45. That’s a hell of a deal if I’ve ever seen one. While looking through the menu I found other deals that made me scratch my head. Three eggs, toast and hash browns are $3.80. A half pound burger is $2.00. How do they make a profit with such low prices? While the restaurant is uninviting, smells like a mop bucket, and makes me think of Kid Rock, in terms of flavor and value it soars above the rest so far. Next I’m headed to IHOP. It has a big hill to climb after this review. I also think the Waffle House Index might have more to do with good food than an actual measure of how crappy things are.
Pros: Ham. Someone should count the number of times I've used just the word "ham" as a "Pro". My lust for it might make me a tad biased. Value.
Cons: I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of good, upbeat and positive stories that start out with... "The other night I was at Waffle House..."
Grubbing on-the-go: N/A
Overall GrubGrade: 8.75/10
More Info: http://www.WaffleHouse.com