Casual Breakfast Review Rundown, Entry Number 3: Waffle House

Did you know that when disaster strikes, FEMA uses the “Waffle House Index” to judge how bad the situation is? If a Waffle House in a questionable area is fully functional, said situation isn’t that big of a deal. If Waffle House is on back up generators, then the situation is serious. If Waffle House is closed, put your head between your legs and… well, you know the rest. Should it alarm you that the federal government uses a chain of diners known for drunken fights fueled by omelets stuffed with chili and cheese as an indicator of how much relief to bring to a crisis? Maybe, but that’s not the point of this review. I needed something to fill the first paragraph, and with that done let’s delve into the Breakfast All-Star Special from Waffle House. The description for the Breakfast All-Star Special is in picture form, so I will decipher it for you.

Two eggs, grits or hash browns, toast, choice of meat (bacon, sausage or city ham), and a waffle.

First let’s get to the bad stuff. Dining at Waffle House is like eating breakfast in an overly bright mens room. There is absolutely nothing pleasing about the aesthetics of Waffle House.  After Burger King’s drab is fab blue/grey color scheme, Waffle House gets my vote for ugliest, least-inviting restaurant ever. I had to get that out of the way though, because everything else was flat out awesome. The over easy eggs and toast were just what they should be. The hash browns were fantastic. I got mine covered with American cheese and onions, but I should have left them plain. The hash browns were super crispy on the outside while still being slightly mushy on the inside.I have never understood why bacon and sausage tower over ham as the number one and two breakfast meats (see more love of ham).  This humble slice of wet-cured ham easily destroys the other two breakfast proteins in the flavor department. This was really salty, a little sweet, and I’m not sure how else to describe it other than it tasted like super ham. Whether by itself or coupled with bites of runny eggs and toast, the city ham was easily a 9/10. My waffle looked pretty sad when it arrived. Kind of like the daddy Eggo that lost his soul to overworking and drinking long ago. It wasn’t too large and looked pretty frozen/generic. Though after adding some butter and syrup, it ended up tasting flat out delicious. They have sauce caddies at every table with a wide array of condiments to please any diner. From the Tabasco, salsa, and to the Heinz 57 sauce, there is something here for everyone.At $7.09, this mountain of food was an awesome deal as well. After the add-ons and a root beer, my total came to $10.45. That’s a hell of a deal if I’ve ever seen one. While looking through the menu I found other deals that made me scratch my head. Three eggs, toast and hash browns are $3.80. A half pound burger is $2.00. How do they make a profit with such low prices?  While the restaurant is uninviting, smells like a mop bucket, and makes me think of Kid Rock, in terms of flavor and value it soars above the rest so far. Next I’m headed to IHOP. It has a big hill to climb after this review. I also think the Waffle House Index might have more to do with good food than an actual measure of how crappy things are.

Pros: Ham. Someone should count the number of times I've used just the word "ham" as a "Pro". My lust for it might make me a tad biased. Value.

Cons: I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of good, upbeat and positive stories that start out with... "The other night I was at Waffle House..."

Taste: 8.75/10
Value: 9.00/10
Grubbing on-the-go: N/A
Price: $7.09

Overall GrubGrade: 8.75/10

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17 comments on “Casual Breakfast Review Rundown, Entry Number 3: Waffle House

  1. Ljay says:

    My two thoughts on WH

    1) WH is our go to breakfast place on the road for steak and eggs with hash browns and rye toast but I’m always looking over my shoulder for somebody with a gun.

    2) City ham will never compare to country ham 😉

    Back in my younger years iHop was the go to place at 3 am when you’re fighting off a drunken stupor. GREAT steak and eggs. But, these days it’s a great place to get a cheeseburger and fries for breakfast.

    Nice review CP

    • Chefprotoss says:

      I would have opted for the country ham, but the meal didn’t include it and I already added stuff to the hash browns. I am interested in finding out how good it is though.

  2. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Bacon and sausage only taste better if you accidentally get syrup on them. Ham, not so much. WH does have really good ham though.

  3. Jessica says:

    Waffle House is my favorite breakfast place by far. I can’t imagine living somewhere without the cheap goodness.

  4. Natalie says:

    Growing up in Georgia, Waffle House is very near and dear to my heart and I probably would have rage-quit GrubGrade if it gave WaHo a bad review.

    My grandmother would always take me there for breakfast when I was a kid, it was my go-to hangout spot with friends in high school because we could order just coffee, sit for hours and hand the waitress a five dollar bill and be good to go. Once in college, it was the place we always went after parties and drunken nights or hungover mornings.

    I moved away from Georgia so I go to Waffle House when I visit home. I almost always order a chicken sandwich and hashbrowns covered and chunked…and it is delicious Every. Time.

  5. Stephen says:

    Please do not put Heinz 57 sauce on your waffle.

    Okay, if you must…

  6. Clevegal42 says:

    You don’t go to WH for the ambiance and “daycor” (you know that’s how most WH patrons would spell it) – you go to WH for cheap greasy drunk food and the possible opportunity to see a fight in the parking lot or someone taking a leak behind the gas station. I love the eggs basted, I always get the plain potatoes because the ordering scares and confuses me, and toast and jelly to dip in the egg yolk. Add some bacon and I’m in heaven!

    WH is delicious but I can’t find anyone to go with me – probably because all of my friends are afraid of being witness to a fight or seeing someone take a leak behind a gas station. I say they just don’t know good eatin’ (again, another spelling of the typical WH patron).

  7. Waffle House is the best, that is all.

  8. A says:

    FEMA didn’t know what to do with Sandy because there are no Waffle Houses in the NYC area.

  9. Bob Smith says:

    I’m surprised you liked your waffle. I’ve found that the combination of margarine, rather than real butter which they do not serve, and the most awful pancake syrup I’ve ever tasted makes a Waffle House waffle taste terrible. I love their omelets, though. Too bad they don’t have fryers, that’s why they only have hash browns instead of the french fries I prefer.

    IHOP has really good pancake syrup, in four flavors.

  10. Eric says:

    Good review. I feel like Waffle House always gets a bad rep, but it’s easily my favorite casual chain breakfast spot. Their food is far superior to IHOP and Cracker Barrel and the prices are hard to beat. So many times I end up getting a triple order of hashbrowns with chili and cheese though. It’s like $3.50 for a huge plate of hashbrowns and the chili is made fresh daily. Add tabasco and enjoy.

  11. shthar says:

    I love me some waffle house, but wish they had real butter.

  12. raiders757 says:

    The things one can see at a Waffle House is indeed hilarious. I kid you not, here in my neck of the woods a man was arrested at our local WH for exposing himself, shaking his privates at the customers through the window. The place is a magnet for nut bags, but they do have some tasty food at a decent price.

  13. waffle house kicks ass and I would eat there everyday if i could

  14. Shannon says:

    I’m glad you liked it. It is what I order at Waffle House with sausage of course. My grandad used to make sausage. This is the first one of your casual breakfast reviews that I can relate to. When I can find a Shoney’s, I eat their breakfast buffet and can usually find something that I like there and when I am at Bob Evans, I always get their pancakes which are light, fluffy, and come with hot syrup.

    No one in Georgia will ever forget what Kid Rock did at a Waffle House here. I’m sure he won’t either.

  15. Jason says:

    Great review! “Makes me think of Kid Rock” is downright inspired.

  16. Bryan says:

    Waffle House rocks.theirs no review y’all can post about it it’s going away only spreading like wildfire and in yankee country so enjoy or shut the hell up.

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