The Chipotle Coma Is No Myth

There’s something about a rainy Sunday in front of the TV watching football with virtually no physical activity and a bag full of Chipotle to completely knock you out.  Are you my Chipotle soul mate?  Is that certain someone out there reading?  Ahem… Burrito Bowl: Rice, Black Beans, Chicken, Half Tomato/Half Corn Salsa, Cheese, Sour Cream, Guacamole, Lettuce.  Added Chips/Guac and a Pineapple Orange Nantucket Nectars juice.  If you’re out there, contact me so we can plan out our future together.  Love, Ryan.

And in case you’re wondering… my complete meal (minus the drink): 1635 calories, 84 grams of fat, 157 grams of carbs, 67 grams of protein

14 comments on “The Chipotle Coma Is No Myth

  1. mitchery says:

    Wow, that’s quite the amount of calories. That’s like 3 whoppers. With the drink you were pushing a whole days worth of nutritional content. I can’t help but find that fascinating. Kudos to you my friend, you are more of a man than I will ever be.

  2. Evan says:

    If you have a soul mate I fear she would be a fatty!

  3. A.S. says:

    It’s amazing how quickly those toppings add up. I still really enjoy a dairy and guacamole-free Chipotle burrito (as long as it has meat and hot sauce), but as soon as you add even a spoonful or two of sour cream you’re in Whopper territory.

  4. Tyler M says:

    At least you got plenty of protein. That’s what I always tell myself haha

  5. Kat says:

    Well at least you got 67 grams of protein..lol. I’m actually not a fan of Chipoltle’s salsa, but I like their other fresh offerings.

  6. Shannon says:

    Wow Ryan! Yesterday it was snowy in Atlanta. I’ve never eaten at Chipotle, but it must be good. So I know I am not your Chipotle soul mate, but I do hope that you do find your soulmate soon. Still fearing marriage? Interestingly and unrelated, I found my Dillinger Escape Plan soul mate yesterday. In the meantime, please be mindful of your Chipotle consumption.

    • Ryan says:

      Yup I still fear marriage, and sweet! Dillinger Escape Plan… much respect.

      As for Chipotle, give it a shot… and I’ll keep it to around once every month or so.

  7. mattitude says:

    I love their fresh ingredients! Goota hand it to the burrito bowl,with triple rice,blackbeans,half chicken and steak,roasted corn,medium and hot salsas and extra cheese to top it off,in other words —-HOT HOT HOT! Soulmate not included….

  8. IBeAnonymous says:

    So no pictures of what’s inside the bag?! I’ve never gotten the burrito bowl over there, I always get the actual burrito with barbacoa, black beans, rice, lettuce, cheese, pico, tomatillo-red salsa, and sour cream. Yum!

  9. CM says:

    I did that on the 12th as well, nothing better than Chipotle and football. Although I got a burrito, there’s just something about mashing all that meat and guacamole goodness inside of a big sheet of carbs that I could use as a blanket and eating it with my hands that gets me every time. I keep telling myself I’ll go for the bowl option next time, but it just never happens. I’m also a girl and not fat. Chipotle is heaven food, it can’t make you fat. It just can’t. All those calories just magically go to your soul instead of your thighs.

    Although, if I ever have a future heart attack, maybe then I’ll be proven wrong and that Chipotle actually goes to the heart, not the soul or the thighs.

  10. Kayla says:

    Chipotle orgasm…. why no pictures?!
    Probably for the best…

    • Ryan says:

      Haha… well, I didn’t really plan to post anything about my Chipotle until after I woke up from the 3hr coma. So yeah, at that point it was already pummeled. All that remained was the sad bag 🙁

  11. Shannon says:

    Did this post have anything to do with the controversy that was surrounding this company about one of it’s employees running over a cat?

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