Sandwich Sunday: The Floink (aka, you gotta try this)
The Floink is a culinary achievement on par with the invention of ice cream. It is a gastronomical innovation equal to, if not greater than, the creation of the mass-produced Twinkies. It is a stunning carnival of taste and texture rivaling that of the most sublime peach from an early August bounty, and the kind of dietary heavyweight which kept this country running through thick and think and two world wars.
The Floink, if I am to be so bold, may just be the greatest sandwich ever.
This is how you make one:
1) Lightly toast plain, as-cheap-as-you-can-find enriched white bread. Nothing else is acceptable. Whole grains are frowned upon. The more mass produced, the better.
2) Spread one slice of said bread with a liberal helping of Marshmallow Fluff.
3) Cover Fluffered bread with tomato, then layer on two slices of bacon (I like Hormel Black Label).
4) Spread other slice of bread with liberal helping of spicy brown mustard. Spread with layer of leftover center-cut pork loin chops (previously grilled with liberal paste of olive oil and rosemary). Layer 4 cucumber slices on top.
5) Add lettuce and grilled onions to top of bacon.
6) Carefully fold one slice of bread onto the other, careful not to spill this unwieldy yet yummy assortment of toppings.
7) Cut, admire your handiwork, bless your food then stuff your face.
The end results? I know it sounds terribly weird, and truth be told it was made on an “I feel like playing with my food whim” that often strikes me after a hard-worked day of doing nothing, but for some odd reason it just really works. It has an amazing flavor from the smokey and salty bacon and earthy, crisp sweetness from the vegetables, which only seem to magnify in definition of their natural flavor thanks to a guilty-cheap nostalgic “x-factor” provided by the Fluff. Texturally it hits on all cylinders — from the crisp bacon and lettuce to the gooey, stick-to-your mouth viscosity of the Fluff, this sandwich is like a symphony of every taste sensation you could possibly imagine.
Your Turn: OK, nothing too fancy here. I just want an up or down vote: The Floink…are you with me, or against me? Lars, your thoughts?