RememBear This: BubbleTape
Okay so when they say “it’s six feet of bubble gum for you, not them“, who exactly is them? Your teacher? Your smelly older brother? The nerdy girl in the corner picking her nose? That’s the beauty of this roll o’ goodness, it doesn’t matter who the “them” is…only thing that matters is that’s it’s all for you! Who out there can deny that they have taken the entire puck from it’s container and gone straight to the mouth with it. My saliva glands are working themselves into a tizzy just thinking about it. Trying to get it to be pliable took quite a bit of time and concentration, it was somewhat a feat in it’s own. Me and my brothers looked like chipmunks going into a long winter with our cheeks bulging out.
I would keep a container of the Sour Apple with me at all times and whenever I got a hankering for a little chomping action or a quick sugar high I’d pop that green plastic right open, roll out a good 5 or 6 inches, snap down the lid and have myself a little party in my mouth. It’s probably why so many people start up smoking, they’re used to the instant satisfaction right at their fingertips. I think I may have uncovered something here, you see smoking leads to pot, pot leads to E, E leads to meth, now you see the problem with our country….it all starts with Bubbletape. That’s what Oprah calls an “ah-hah moment”. I jest, I jest.
The best thing is not only how tasty it is but you could do SO much with it too. You could jump rope (or tape) with it. You could measure *cough, cough* things with it. You could use it as a road for your Hot Wheels. You could tie it in knots. You could wad it up into a ball and play catch with it. You could see who was taller with it. You could check if your waistline was expanding due to your diet of sugar cereals, processed meats and soda pop. I mean, the uses were endless. I remember sitting out on the blacktop during recess and just unrolling and re-rolling them.
What was your favorite food to play with…and how?
So what…ah…”funny noises” are they talking about here?