Polls: Quiznos Toasty Torpedo

Another poll…but first, a creepy commercial.

We’re getting a lot of negative feedback on the New Quiznos Toasty Torpedo.  Time for a poll to see just how this $5 Footlong rival is doing…

Poll Is Now Closed:

Final Results:

What do you think of the new Toasty Torpedo?

Love it 29%

Hate it 19%

Just Ok  12%

Haven’t tried it  40%

58 comments on “Polls: Quiznos Toasty Torpedo

  1. Twon says:

    This commercial is raw comedy. “Say it sexier” lol

  2. Raiders757 says:

    I gave it an OK on the poll, but really, mine was good(only after I made it so myself). Better than OK, but not really worth $4.

    You have a $5 version of this? It begs me to ask, is this not $4 everywhere? In south eastern Virginia, we get it for $4.

    I payed $4.33 after taxes today.

    Yea, at $5. I would be livid.

  3. Ryan says:

    It’s $4 everywhere I think. I mentioned it being a “$5 Footlong rival”. Since it’s being compared to Subways deal. I gave it an “OK” too.

  4. Justin says:

    I’m never going to Quiznos again. I was accused of using a coupon for a free sub twice during their “giveaway.” I hadn’t ever used the coupon; but not wanting to cause a scene I paid for the sub. I wasted $5 on a dinky sub and was insulted for my trouble!

    I email Quiznos and they never replied. Thought I would post here to get my pound of flesh.

  5. I’m starting to lose respect for Quizno’s. I used to like them but now they’re just being ridiculous. I haven’t tried it and I’m not going to. I know it’s only $4 but it seems like a bit of false or stretched advertising. Didn’t care for their attempt to be sexy/funny either.

  6. orb205 says:

    So the commercial insinuates that the guy has experimental sexual encounters with a talking oven? Ok.

    I’ve only ever been to Quizzno’s at most 5 times (probably over 7 years ago) and they would always burn the bread, no matter which location I went to. I’ve never been back to one since.

  7. soapyguy says:

    I actually thought it was more like their version of a Jimmy John’s sub. Okay for a light lunch, has meal potential if you add soup. Hella messy to eat, though.

  8. Debi Younce says:

    I am disgusted and grossed out each time the commercial comes on. From the shape of new sandwiches to the talk about doing what happened before. There seems to be a huge phallic stupidity going on here. I am totally turned off and will never eat there. Ever.

  9. Eva says:

    What’s so strange about the commercial? Folks have to lighten up.

  10. Linda Roseland says:

    What’s so strange? Well, the commercial strongly suggests that the young man has been sexually active with the oven that is going to toast your sub, too! I’d say that’s a bit strange. If you lighten up that much, you will have no moral value left in the country – or is that where we’re heading?

  11. scott says:

    I took photos of my Quiznos Italian Torpedo and took screen shots of it from the Quizno website. See if you can tell the difference.


  12. paige says:

    Does anyone know the nutritional value of the Torpedoes or where to get the info? I can’t find it anywhere, even their website…

    I had one today and was not that impressed for the price. And they didn’t even ask me what I wanted on it on either side of the oven!

  13. Jimmy Joe says:

    That is the gayest commercial ever. I laughed out loud the second time I saw it.

  14. Tina says:

    Loved the commercial! Lighten up you people that are grossed out and feel the commercial is Gay (inappropriate). I love Quiznos and will try the sandwich as soon as I get a chance. Love the dude acting in it.

  15. Rick says:

    The people responsible for creating and approving the sale of this sad , little pathetic excuse for a sandwich should be jailed and fined $40,000 each.

    One of these sandwiches does not equal half of a Subway sandwich.

    It’s a breadstick that’s an inch longer than a Subway sandwich. The diameter of the bread is smaller than a hot dog bun.
    It is absolutely stunning that they are charging
    4 dollars for this kid’s sized sandwich.
    Quizno’s should be ashamed of this sandwich.

  16. Anonymous says:

    I tried the Turkey Club and the Italian. I liked the Italian better. I would get the Italian again, but not that often. There is just something about Quiznos that prevents me from becoming a regular customer. It seems like they charge a lot, and skimp a lot. Like, they didn’t put very much lettuce and tomato on it, which is cheap anyway, so why skimp? But they do. Quiznos is just annoying somehow, and a lot of their franchises are poorly run. I went into one once and the guy asked me what goes on the sandwich I just ordered, and I didn’t know because I never ordered it before. It also seems like their sandwiches are never toasted hot enough, always lukewarm. I’m not surprised Subway is beating them because the value there is better. Oh, and I just want to confirm that the bread they put this thing on is teeny tiny. A subway footlong is about twice the width of this thing. I noticed something else weird when I was in there. There are no drink prices listed on the menu at all, so they can gouge you as much as they want for drinks I guess. Another thing: I think their flatbreads are comically small, like bite-size. It’s embarrassing.

  17. vegamon says:

    Someone here is actually asking about the nutritional value of this sandwich? That’s kind of like asking about the nutritional value in a bag of potato chips with Ring Dings for desert.

  18. Nicole says:

    who cares about the nutrition of the sandwich? this site is about the commercial… which was just a little tooo out there and suggestive to be funny. “put it in me.” really? in a sandwich commercial?

  19. matias says:

    Sorta a perverted Commercial having a mans voice ask for Scott to stick it in him, then ask for him to talk sexy.

  20. Bodie says:

    @ Linda & Debi
    Are you kidding me?!

    “This commercial is a signal of the decline of morality in our nation and if anyone lightens up, you’re disgusting and immoral!

    “I will never eat at Quizno’s because their sandwiches are phallic!”

    Yeah okay. When you comeup with sandwiches shaped like vaginas, then go ahead and give me a call.

    And if you’re really worried that you’ll be eating from THAT oven and THAT actor will be working at the Quizno’s you go to, and if you truly believe that he had sex with the oven, then you have some bigger issues you need to deal with.

    It’s called advertising. Get over yourself.

  21. Dewek says:

    this tastes like poop

  22. tommy says:

    The sandwich is good…and the commercial does just that…create a BUZZZ…anyonwe who has a morality issue with this commercial shouldnt even be surfing the web. Its funny and gets you to remember the key points…$4

  23. Bill R says:

    So wait – seriously, not a soul here gets that it’s a spoof of Kubrick’s 2001?

    Intellectual decline of America indeed…

  24. Saaz says:

    The commercial is NOT appropriate for families watching TV. All we need is a bunch of little kids running around saying, “Put it in me!” and “Say it sexy.”

    Every time I’ve been to Quizno’s I get a thrown together sub that falls apart the second I pick it up to eat it, plus they were over-priced, so they haven’t made a good impression on me anyway. The commercial just adds to that.

    I’m pretty sure that Quizno’s is already getting complaints pouring in, but if they actually make money off it… then kudos to them and it will prove that “sex sells.”

  25. Brian says:

    Quizno’s was completely successful with their commercial. They made a commercial which got everyones interest whether it be good or bad feedback and everyone who has seen it is now talking about it. I guarantee most of the people who were disgusted by it, are going to be the ones who go and get it. They spend a lot of money to make sure that the outcome of the commercial will cause people to get one rather than piss people off and the few they do piss of they don’t really care if your mad

    • Ryan says:

      Hahaha. Yeah true. It’s all done with the “intent” of being funny. I’m sure that brand of humor doesn’t go well with everyone. That being said, I just saw this documentary about a woman who was in love with her bow and arrow…but then dumped the bow to start a relationship with the Eiffel Tower. Or was it the Golden Gate Bridge? BBC documentaries are bizarre.

  26. Tonya says:

    Oh they got my attention alright but all it did was make me never want to eat at Quiznos..I’m all for “humor” in a commercial but this was just disturbing on so many levels…eeewwwww!

  27. Drew says:

    Love the Commercial!! The economy needs more humor! We need more like this!

  28. David says:

    That’s a SICK, SICK commercial! And, I normally like abnormal commercials.

    “Scott, I want you to do something.”

    “I’m not doing that again. That burned.”

    “We both enjoyed that.”

    “Put it in me Scott.”

    PLLEEEAASSEEE… get a room! And, not one that’s on my TV. Is that supposed to make me hungry and want a Quizno’s sub? Argh! Disgusting!

  29. Kyle says:

    This commercial is hilarious. You people need to lighten up.

  30. Nick says:


    First: Each person here who thinks that this commercial is selling with SEX is either an IDIOT or a CLOSET FREAK….. This is most obviously using HUMOR to sell.

    Second: All of you insecure Women (Linda and Debi) need to go find a compound to live in. Seriously. Iran might also be a nice choice, though the Burkas sound a bit cumbersome. If your kids can’t survive this commercial morally intact….then you have failed as a parent and as a person.

    Third: Quizno does kinda suck, but I like their flatbread sammies. I haven’t tried the torpedo.

  31. Dano says:

    This commercial is wrong on a numerous levels. Ok, its an oven, ITS A GUYS VOICE. This commercial is as gay of a commercial as I’ve ever scene. ‘Stick it in me’? Intentionally holding it like a phallic? A guys voice telling a guy to ‘say it sexier’? BTW I thought ‘Will and Grace’ was a funny show.
    On a not so gay note, I saw the size of this sandwich in a posted picture. The image in the commercial is very misleading. You’d have to get a five year old child’s hands on it to look like it doe in the ad to match the diameter. Maybe they used Subway in the ad…

  32. […] There have been a good number of comments here at GrubGrade concerning one of the more recent, controversial Toasty Torpedo Quiznos commercials.  Some people feel that it crossed the line, while others believe sex sells and there is nothing […]

  33. Derreck says:

    The Quiznos near me @ US19 & Alderman in Palm Harbor, FL has amazing service. Nazir runs that franchise, and I have nothing but good things to say about them.

    I have been to Quiznos branches and had (expletive deleted) service/burned subs before. You can get that kind of service anywhere people don’t care about their job, or when the customer is a dick to the staff… and from the sound of some of these comments, there are some real (expletive deleted) that come into Quiznos ordering food.

    As for the commercial, it’s humor and I think it’s funny. It’s very edgy and I’m sure the humorless out there won’t appreciate it. To those who aren’t going to eat at Quiznos because of the service, you may want to try a different location; and if you don’t still want to eat there, I understand. For those of you who won’t eat Quiznos because they saw this commercial on TV, take the stick out your (expletive deleted) and lighten the (expletive deleted) up.

  34. derreckdean says:

    Apparently, ultra-conservative types make me curse a lot. Oops 🙂

  35. Dave Daveofferson says:

    The commercial is hilarious and the sandwich is pretty damned good. I’m a pesto and ciabatta freak though…

    To those offended by the commercial and spouting about the decline of Western Civilization, you’d be well-served to stop being so afraid of the world.

  36. Nick says:

    “This commercial is as gay of a commercial as I’ve ever scene.”

    I love how this commercial is bring the homophobes out of the woodwork. Your seriously concerned about he sex of the toaster????

    “BTW I thought ‘Will and Grace’ was a funny show”

    This is like saying ” I can’t be racist, I thought The Cosby Show was funny”

  37. […] takeout lunch in my cloffice in front of my computalator, like normal. My exploration of the new Torpedoes! sandwich style will have to wait until mid-April. As I ate I read this meditation on the new […]

  38. Mr. says:

    I would totally nail that oven!!!!!

  39. She’s from telecommunications – what the hell does she know about marketing?


  40. kim says:

    the commerical is gay…in every kind of way

  41. brett says:

    its so small its rediculaous waste of money

  42. paul says:

    we had a couple the other day , really good ,easy to eat with one hand, what a great sandwich for the little ones to share with out getting crap all over

  43. Mojo Celtica says:

    A gay toaster oven. What next? Anyway, I was so put off by the commercial I have stopped eating there altogether.

  44. Me says:

    I found the original version of the commercial extremely tacky (and yes, it was broadcast on TV). Even though I have since seen the “tamer” versions, nothing can erase the imagery created in the original, and it colors the whole series.

    I have given Quiznos notice through their web site that I will be avoiding their restaurants for as long as this ad series is running in order to prevent any possible misinterpretation of my patronage as “success” for the ads.

  45. Dano says:

    Nick, the point i was making was that I find homosexual humor entertaining in the correct forum. But very assuming of you to jump to conclusions.

  46. Suzy says:

    So those of you who think this commercial is humorous really think it’s appropriate for children?? REALLY?! You wouldn’t be disturbed at all by your children repeating this commercial? This ridiculous commercial IS selling sex since the commercial is about SEX and NOT about FOOD!! It was disgusting and didn’t make the sandwich appealing at all. Why would saying “Put it in me Scott” make you hungry for a sandwich?! And for those of you who think you are marketing experts, a commercial is NOT successful when all people are talking about is whether it’s funny or disgusting, instead of talking about whether it made them want to try the product…which is the whole point of marketing!!!

  47. For those of you who don’t like it, the marketing executive who approved the 1 million giveaway and this commercial was fired. But it’s not her, it’s Quiznos who is to blame. They’d sell their soul to sell a sandwich. Schaden is a scum bag. Not even the best franchise execs can last more than 24 months with the goon. There’s a lot more behind the scenes than what the public will ever see. Quiznos uses franchisee money for the commercials and lives the life of Reilly while their franchisees suffer. A recent article in the Toronto Star reports on how Quiznos shut down three stores of a franchisee that is taking Quiznos to task in court. Read more about Quiznos’ antics on bloodyfranchise.wordpress.com


  48. mike bibby says:

    HAL 9000

  49. Haywood says:

    Scott? Really? I thought the guy’s name was Dave. Maybe it’s just in my area, but I swear the oven says “put it in me, Dave.”

    Either way, the sandwich stinks. It really is an oversized breadstick, and I agree with the statement that it’s no bigger than a hotdog bun.

    I made the mistake of ordering one a few months ago and was disappointed as soon as I saw it hit the oven. It had no more than 4 slices of meat and a total of 1 slice of cheese. I finished it maybe 6 bites and was completely unsatisfied.

    Not surprisingly, I’m not impressed with Quiznos as a whole. All of my experiences have been less than stellar. I do not consider them a good value and the food is average at best.

    I don’t rate Subway very high either, but at least there I know that I can choose my toppings and they are more than happy to fill the sandwich with as many toppings as I want. They may skimp on the meat, but it’s better than skimping on both the meat and toppings!

  50. Jesse says:

    I just got one, it was ok. Nothing special. Their regular subs are better.

    The torpedo was really thin and long. Almost looked like a stretched hotdog bun!

    Yeah, they don’t really give you options as to what you want on it. My lettuce had yellowish/brown edges on it too.

  51. MB says:

    In my opinion, it isn’t the sexual orientation that is disturbing in this commercial – I wouldn’t like it any better if it was a woman’s voice saying “put it in me, Scott” when the sexual innuendo is blatant. It’s not what I want to be thinking about when I have a casual meal and it certainly doesn’t make me want to try one. The marketing is obviously trying to be “edgy” and controversial but I give it tasteless at best. No pun intended!

  52. Nikki Sixx says:

    This is what our world is coming to. On commercial breaks of my favorite shows, Quiznos sees fit to add gay sex to there ad and uses the innuendo, that the oven is waiting for it? Common! I’ll never eat at this place again. What was once my favorite sub shop, is now disgusting and repulsive to me. Using gay anal sex to sell a sandwich is beyond anything I thought I’d ever see on tv! Gross!

  53. Steve says:

    Had one today, dissapointed. Got mine to-go so maybe there was a difference, but the bread was not toasty, it was soft and chewy. I was expecting a little crunch. The inside was ok at best. There are several reasons why if you put Subway and Quiznos next to each other, Subway will probably win about 85% of the traffic. Quality, nutrition, value and taste.

  54. W0LF says:

    “So those of you who think this commercial is humorous really think it’s appropriate for children?? REALLY?!”

    I didn’t find the commercial funny but I did laugh. And I REALLY?! don’t see an issue with kids seeing it. If they understand the inuendo then it’s not as if you’ve kept them cloisterred have you?

    “You wouldn’t be disturbed at all by your children repeating this commercial?”

    I’d be disturbed by my kids repeating any commercial. I want them to be repeating lines from shakespear. If it’s a commerical I don’t care if it’s “Put it in me” or “Butter makes it better” or “Eat a long one” it’s all garbage, put your kids in front of something significant instead of letting a Quizno’s commercial do your parenting.

    “This ridiculous commercial IS selling sex since the commercial is about SEX and NOT about FOOD!!”

    If the sight of a torpedo fresh from the oven is making you hot… don’t have to say more than that. The commercial is situational comedy played for edginess. It doesn’t have to endear you to their products or company. It only has to make you say the company name to 4 other people during the course of a month or bring up their commercial in an online forum once so that you will instill an interrest in their products amoung others. Congradulations Suzy your unpaid internship for Quizno’s Marketting Department has been a success.

    This sandwitch however was grubless. I think scott may have had tiny hands because it really didn’t look pathetically small in the commercial. I eat too much fast food and I’ve had food at Quizno’s often but this is the first sandwitch in a long time that I threw out halfway through. It tasted dirty, the meat was flavorless, it was unattractive. If there’s any reason to be upset about the commercial it should be because it’s so deceptive.

  55. Torpedo the Torpedo! says:

    The photo of the Torpedo ad is held by an unusually small hand. When you actually see a Torpedo sandwich, it will be obvious to you that for the photo to be to proper scale, the hand will have to be the size of a five-year old child. This leads me to suspect that the torpedo hand model is actually manipulated in Photoshop et. al. to make the sandwich appear bigger than it actually is.

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