Review: Shoppers’ Colossal Donuts

I once read that we as Americans consume the equivalent of 3700 calories per day. Forgetting for a second if this is accurate, I had to do an immediate double take and question whether that was even gastrointestinaly possible. Last I checked, that’s a lot of food, and also last time I checked, we weren’t all hooked up to IV machines pumping milkshakes into our bloodstreams. Chalking the idea off to the kinds of stat people inevitably soak up thanks to either a copious amount of internet and/or toilet reading, I gave it up for a joke. That was until I got sidetracked in a Shoppers’ grocery store the other day, and found myself face to face with this:

Donuts. But not just any donuts. Colossal Donuts.  And suddenly I wanted to try them all and realized that number might not be such an exaggeration.

I’ve long held that Dunkin’ Donuts corrupts the donut loving public with a false conception of what a donut is. That’s because they charge you a buck for each donut, and what you get is halfway between one of those health pamphlets explanation of what a “proper” serving size is, and what we’re conditioned to see thanks to big screen tv’s. Recent results from said non-disgustingly large donuts have left me in a silent boycott of Dunkin’, but stuck in suburbia, the proverbial mom-and-pop donut stand remains out of reach. OK sure, Target can do for a pinch, but try as I may, I have been hard-pressed to find cheap and ginormous donuts to satisfy my morning sweet tooth. Which is why I was so stoked and overwhelmed to come face to face with the most impressive grocery store assortment donuts I have ever witnessed.

Deciding on just one donut would have been impossible. So I decided to test out two flavor “standbys” that I can never seem to say no to. A sugar-raised glazed donut and a “kreme” filled shell with powdered sugar. At 59 cents each these are more than a bargain for their size, and even left me with spare change for a coffee down the street.

A perfectly executed sugar-raised donut is a breakfast in and of itself, but many places still manage to screw it up, often skewing the balance towards a cloyingly sweet glaze that tastes too much of polysorbate or failing to get the prerequisite rise of a squishy yet airy interior that tears easily and leaves a light, lingering fried taste. Shoppers’ definitely gets it right with the interior texture. While large in size and diameter, the donut manages a light interior with sweet and airy yeast-risen dough that reminds you of really good french bread. The taste of the glaze is just right — neither too sweet nor chemical laden — although the chipping effect is a real bummer. I suppose I should have gotten to these before the old folks breakfast blitz, because the glaze had hardened by the time I finally had mine.

My original intent was to eat half of each donut and save the rest for later. Fat chance. After quickly plowing through the glazed over a perusal of my morning email I found myself face to face with a heavy (we’re talking nearly half-pound) kreme-filled donut that had already managed to cloud my computer keyboard with a sticky confectioners sugar coating.

Suddenly remembering that statistic I long gave up for Snopes fodder, I decided to, uh, “forget” the kreme-filled donut at the market. Note to self: If you’re ever going to buy Shoppers’ Colossal Donuts in the future, make sure you buy just one at a time!

Pros: COLOSSAL.

Cons: Chipping donut glaze

Taste: 7.00/10
Value: 10.00/10
Price: 59 cents each (on sale)

Overall GrubGrade: 8.00 Very Good

More Info: ShoppersFood.com
Nutrition Facts:
Ignorance is bliss

17 comments on “Review: Shoppers’ Colossal Donuts

  1. Matt T says:

    Try their Apple Fritters. They are divine. Huge, but divine!

  2. Steve says:

    I used to get these all the time when I lived in Westminster…shame they closed the Shoppers in Owings Mills (although Giant’s donuts are fairly huge too).

  3. rob says:

    Paula Deen gives these a thumbs up!

  4. Lindsay says:

    Am I alone in my love for cake donuts? Anyone that has a Casey’s General Store in their vicinity must try the cake donuts. :)

    Those really are huge donuts….

  5. Matt T says:

    Another good thing about Shoppers Donuts: you can get a raised donut. Not a raised glazed donut, but a plain, no glazing, raised donut. Mmm.

  6. Chefprotoss says:

    She had better get the most out of those feet while she still has them. I’d be willing to bet she wouldn’t tell her fans about being amputated until she figured out how to make a buck off it. =P

  7. nuttyturnip says:

    Hell yes, Shoppers donuts. Seconding the vote for their apple fritters, but those are so gigantic you really do need to cut them in half.

  8. hortizn says:

    I wish I had a shoppers here. looks amazing

  9. Scrape says:

    This gives me a reason to actually want to go to a Shoppers. Haven’t been in one in years. Maybe they will give the local Donut/Thai Food place a run for their money.

    • Scrape says:

      Okay, got a half dozen. They are very good. Not a good as the donut/thai place, but much better than DD. In fact, they actually kept for a few days (enough to finish them off) without becoming hard as a brick, as DD do. Looks like I will be going to Shopper more often when the craving strikes! Thanks for the tip!

  10. somesteve says:

    looks tasty

  11. ChrisLad says:

    Shoppers. I didn’t even know they had such a large bakery. I only see the newspaper ads. I’ll definately get one of these if I find myself at Shoppers.

  12. lij says:

    Shoppers Bakery is great. You have to be lucky and find a good location. I like the Bear Claw but its only available at select locations at random times. Kind of frustrating driving from location to location searching sometimes.