Review: New! Chocolate Banana McCafe Shake from McDonald’s

Say it with me friends: fool it me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

After trying the new Chocolate Banana McCafe Shake last Saturday morning, it would appear as though I have not learned my lessons when it comes to McDonald’s “new” McCafe milkshakes (our review of the Strawberry McCafe Shake here). Last time I had a McDonald’s shake I was put off by the bland flavor of the soft serve vanilla base and the soupy texture of the shake, finding the “new” additions of whipped cream and a maraschino cherry to be about as helpful as a slingshot against an Abrams tank.

Still, after a disastrous set of circumstances left me starving at 8 a.m. on Saturday morning, I decided to forgo a proper breakfast to try out the brand new flavor of milkshake, which comes at a time in which McDonald’s is rolling out an entirely revamped menu.

The shake, I must say, is a miserable failure. My complaints on the texture stand: it’s soupy, watery, and reminds me of what happens when you leave a frosty outside in the sun. Maybe you’re suppose to drink it? I guess that could be the case, except I wasn’t even given a straw-like device, and I’m not exactly sure if drinking a cherry and whipped cream is entirely possible.

Now, we can agree to disagree on what the texture of a “true” milkshake should be (as some commentors did with me on my last review). However, I’ll warn you that the flavor isn’t anything to get excited about. As you can see from the pictures, the shake actually comes out with an off layer of “chocolate” (really just cocoa) on top. It’s disjointed from the banana flavor, and it’s a weak cocoa flavor that almost reminds me of a NECCO wafer. The banana taste is moderate – think fake, but in a kind-of-want-more Banana Runts kind of way. Still, neither fits in with the whipped cream or the cherry. What is so “cafe” about whipped cream and a cherry anyways?

No, this is a weak shake, any way you slurp it. And trust me, you will be slurping it, unless you’re like me and make it about a fourth of the way through before asking yourself; “Why am I drinking a mediocre shake when it’s 8 a.m. in the morning and snowing?” Good question.

””

Taste: 4.75/10
Value: 6.75/10
Grubbing on-the-go: 5.00/10
Price: 2.29 for small

Overall GrubGrade: 4.50 (Poor)

Nutrition Facts:
Chocolate Banana McCafe Shake from McDonald's (12 oz. cup, without whipped cream and cherry)
Calories: 440
Total Fat: 10 g
Saturated Fat: 6 g
Trans Fat: 0.5 g
Cholesterol: 40 mg
Sodium: 150 mg
Total Carbs: 76 g
Fiber: 1 g
Sugars: 63 g
Protein: 10 g

10 comments on “Review: New! Chocolate Banana McCafe Shake from McDonald’s

  1. SkippyMom says:

    Nasty. I agree with you Adam on what a shake should be – thanks for steering me away from this.

    Putting a cherry on it is like putting a hat on a pig. It doesn’t change the fact it is still a pig. :)

  2. maxchain says:

    I actually bit the bullet and got a shake at McDonald’s. What the hell happened?! They had such a good thing going with their Triple Thick Shakes!

  3. Justin ST says:

    This is GROSS>

  4. Mattitude says:

    Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up…..

  5. […] at Grub Grade reviewed the new McDonald’s McCafe Chocolate Banana Shake…which he purchased at eight in the morning. Well, it looks like I’ll be ordering a […]

  6. Michael says:

    “Maybe” you’re supposed to drink it? Of course you’re supposed to drink it — it’s a milkshake. It’s a drink.

    They put whipped cream and other “undrinkable” toppings on a frappuccino at Starbucks too, and you’d never expect to eat that with a spoon.

  7. Tyler says:

    As Michael said – of course you’re supposed to drink it – it’s a milkshake. The things that people call milkshakes or shakes or whatever in various establishments across Utah are ridiculous. Those are just blended ice cream with toppings mixed in. They lack the milk that makes a milkshake so creamy delicious. Granted McDonald’s milkshakes are too thin and horrible, but I think I remember you writing about Chick-fil-a shakes – those are fantastic.

  8. Matt says:

    As a McDonald’s employee, I can say for sure that yes, they are supposed to give you a straw, lol; McDonald’s milkshake’s are for drinking, not with a spoon (the McFlurry’s, however, do get a spoon).

    Also, the McCafe shake machines honestly don’t work very good at all. They give a very uneven blend of shake flavoring and ice cream, and if the machine hasn’t been cleaned/calibrated recently, it’ll give very thin, soupy shakes. Also, when the shakes dispense, unless the last shake was the same flavor as yours, you’re A)going to get some of the last shake flavor in your shake, or B)going to get a lot of plain, slightly melted vanilla soft serve in your shake before the actual shake comes out of the machine. If you don’t have someone particularly attentive making your shake, it’s probably gonna come out pretty terrible.

  9. Matthew says:

    I went to mcdonalds yesterday and got a shake with no whipped creme and cherry they forgot the straw on the way home I was relay thirsty so when i got home I got a straw that I had at home. They probably thought I would go to the soda machine and get a straw It had a normal lid.

  10. Dave L. says:

    In Toronto, after trying the regular Choc’-Banana shake, I had MASSIVE ‘Hersey Squirts’. I mentioned it to a co-worker who apparently had the same after-effect two days earlier. I still prefer the Arctic Orange. The CB shake was pretty good but 4 hours later I had that huge stomach/intestinal issue!!!