Review: Cheese Pizza Slice from Sbarro
I’m not from New York, but I understand. I understand the contempt they have for New York style pizza that doesn’t meet their standards. They do, after all, make a damn good pie. When I think of New York, one of the first things that comes to mind is Times Square. Go to Times Square or just watch something filmed there and one of the first things that catches your eye is a giant neon sign that reads “Sbarro”, a mall and airport chain that serves NY style pizza. Ask any New Yorker (I have), and they will ramble on about what an outrage it is that a Sbarro is even there to begin with. Is it really that bad or are they just being snobby locals? Considering I haven’t had a slice from Sbarro since about 1997, I figured I would check it out myself at my local mall food court.
Yes, it is pretty bad. I’m a purist when it comes to pizza and if you can make a good cheese pie, you have passed my test. Let’s start at the bottom. The crust was terrible. Under-fermented and under-cooked. No yeasty goodness here. It honestly tasted like fresh raw dough and it overpowered the rest of the ingredients.
If you told me the cheese was fake, I wouldn’t be at all surprised. It tasted like nothing and had no pull or stretch whatsoever. Even though the big three chains don’t use the best cheese, their cheese is at the very least, salty. The sauce would have been great… about two years ago. I’m not saying it had been left out for that long, but that it seemed like it was canned years ago. It was bright, acidic, and not fresh tasting. What little I could taste anyway. It was like having your favorite song come on the radio and listening to it with the volume turned almost completely down. I’m pretty sure at some point long ago, this sauce was great. Mary Tyler Moore was really hot long ago, but I wouldn’t want to… you get the idea. The price was insane as well; almost $4.00 after tax. I will pay just about anything for flavor, but serve me crap and I cry shenanigans. If Ryan would let me, this review would consist of a picture and a one word review saying “boooo!”. Can you throw a tomato at a restaurant chain?
I’m sure some of you will think I’m being overly negative. Maybe so. Just know this review came from someone who not only loves Taco Bell, but thought Ryan underrated the Quarter Pounder with Cheese. I loathe Pizza Hut, but would gladly recommend it to anyone over Sbarro. Hell, grab a frozen Tombstone pie from your local supermarket and you will be in heaven compared to this. Actually, a Tombstone, cheap beer and a movie sounds like nirvana to me. Do that.
While researching this piece, I noticed that the further away someone is from New York, the more they seem like Sbarro. According to locals in their respective countries (The Philippines and India), Sbarro rocks. What does that mean? I have no clue, but I do know that while eating this slice, all I could think about was how within about one square mile of the Sbarro I was visited, there were three places where I could get a quality NY style pie. I live in Virginia. Virginia has better NY pizza than Times Square. Just think about that for a minute. Yes, you are snobby local New Yorkers, but I’ll be damned if you aren’t right.
Pros: The Dick Van Dyke Show. Indian food. The Simpsons. A soft but firm back rub. Yes, I am just saying random things I enjoy to fill space.
Cons: Having to write about crappy food. If I bought the whole pizza slice by slice it would cost about 24 bucks. The thought of setting 24 bucks on fire.
Grubbing on-the-go: 7.00/10
Price: 3.29 cheese slice
Overall GrubGrade: 3.75/10
More Info: Sbarro.com
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