Is Chocolate Lucky Charms the Holy Grail of Kids Cereals?
Boredom at work can manifest itself in a lot of ways. Watching YouTube videos of of the bygone greatness of the Buffalo Bills or 1990′s cartoons is inevitable for me, but all things considered, probably the most harmless of my online misadventures. At the other end of the spectrum are my occasional perusals of Amazon.com, where I’ll all too often browse the “Manager’s Specials” section for imported canned fish or off-the-beaten-path sugary cereals. Given my quest to try every kids cereal ever made (included the ones discontinued some 15 years ago) I couldn’t help but let my curiosity guide my credit card while online the other day, and in a moment of anxiety driven boredom I ended up ordering six boxes of Chocolate Lucky Charms.
Yes, you read that correctly - Chocolate Lucky Charms. Marshmallows. Sugar. Chocolate. Is there any better combination on this planet (aside, you know, from a Filet-O-Fish with ketchup)? I think not, and knowing my love of the seasonal Count Chocula cereal, I figured Chocolate Lucky Charms would be similar, if not remarkably better. The presumed Holy Grail of kids cereal goodness, however, ended up proving more elusive than an actual Marshmallow-toting leprechaun in my backyard, failing to deliver on the long-looked forward to “wow” factor of magical deliciousness.
I guess I should preface this by saying that the direction of General Mills’ cereal to a more, um, ‘wholesome’ approach has been somewhat disappointing from a flavor and texture perspective. Not only do the classic cereals of my youth not taste as good as they used to, but many of the formulas have been reformatted. I don’t know if that is the case with Chocolate Lucky Charms, but I find it odd that the non-marshmallow pieces are made from corn flour and not oat flour. Now, I have nothing against the corn industry and frankly get sick of all the political mumbo-jumbo I hear railing against it, but from a flavor standpoint I just don’t get corn and chocolate. Corn, corn syrup, and puffed air? Well yeah, and that’s what makes Corn Pops so great. But corn, marshmallows, and chocolate? And now we add milk?!?
In any case it’s an odd combination, and one which is unable to vault this cereal to the coveted spot on my cereal rankings which I thought it might warrant. That’s not to say I disliked Chocolate Lucky Charms. On the contrary; as a snack it’s a fine cereal, displaying a slightly above average sweetness and slightly above average cocoa flavor. It’s really quite reminiscent to Cocoa Puffs, straight with the slightly sticky sheen and cocoa-infused crunch. There are, thankfully, no off multigrain tastes that dilute the cocoa, nor do the chocolate flavored pieces themselves come off as pliable and anything but crunchy. Once again, however, the lack of any cocoa fat byproduct limits its choco-bility and richness of the cereal, making it more enjoyable eaten straight out of the box than in the confines of milk. That is unless you mix chocolate milk with half and half and melted chocolate chips, but alas, I’m supposed to be acting like a responsible adult these days, and such shenanigans would only undercut the childhood nostalgia of sticky marshmallow residue on my fingers.
I like Chocolate Lucky Charms. I like it a lot. But then again, I like a lot of sugary kids cereal a lot, which is probably why I have no less than seven different brands in my pantry right now. So while Chocolate Lucky Charms rightly deserves a place at the sugary kids cereal table roundtable, it doesn’t vault its way to the head of that table. But I won’t despair, because with plenty of boring workdays ahead of me, I’m sure I’ll eventually stumble upon that elusive grail of kids cereals. Speaking of which, anyone want to trade?
Adam’s Cereal Ranking Index:
- Sweetness: 7.25/10
- Snackability: 8.75/10
- Healthy Junk: 5.50/10
- End Milk: 4.50/10
- Nostalgia: 9.00/10
Final Score: 7.00/10