Cereal Review: NEW! Marshmallow Pebbles from Post
It has come to my attention that my diet needs to change.
I am eating unhealthy. I am consuming too many fatty snacks. My salt intake is ridiculouse. I lack sufficient Vitamin D. Instead of taking the time to sit down to a complete, low-fat breakfast packed with 10 essential vitamins and minerals, I instead stop off at cheap fast food places in daring escapades in order to indulge a compulsive chicken sandwich addiction. Needless to say, this ship must be righted.
Fortunately, Post cereal engineers have been hard at work in creating a new cereal to alleviate just such a problem, and combat the problems of young adult sloth and poor food choices. Yes, America, the time has come to embrace Marshmallow Pebbles.
The newest edition to the Post Pebbles family delivers delicious “vanilla-graham” flavor and fun prehistoric Marshmallows!
Oh, who am I kidding. I didn’t buy this cereal because of its “excellent” amount of Vitamin D (20% DV), but rather because I’m a sugarholic, highly active young person with a nostalgic grocery store eye and a craving for anything that lists “Marshmallow Bits” as its first ingredient. Throw in “vanilla-graham” and you’ve sold me, especially considering that Post’s Fruity Pebbles remain one of the greatest inventions ever known to child, beast, and man alike. I mean really, having bought this cereal, I figured it would be a forgone conclusion that it would become my breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 20 years of my life. Surely it would be that awesome, and surely I could laugh in the face of risking a diabetic future just to get my daily marshmallow and vanilla-graham kicks.
Well, I think I’m going to have to go back to the drawing board, because this stuff was a dud. Yes, you read that correctly. A dud. For starters, each 10.75 oz box isn’t even filled up all the way with cereal. Likewise, the cereal came unevenly distributed in the box, with seemingly 90% of the marshmallow pieces settling on top of the “vanilla” graham pieces, which look oddly like bird food. This makes for an obvious problem in that if your sister gets to this stuff before you do, you could find yourself pouring a bowl of mostly dog-food looking pellets with only one or two ‘mallows. Which brings up another problem; the graham pieces themselves. Eaten alone and without milk, the incredibly tiny pieces have just a hint of sweetness and vanilla flavor. But once in milk they turn into soggy, tasteless specks that contribute absolutely nothing to the cereal. In fact, they only bring down the marshmallow pieces, which to be fair are well flavored and almost identical in taste to Lucky Charms’ marshmallows.
End milk? Don’t even get me started. Try as I might, I couldn’t even finish off all the milk in my bowl because of the complete lack of sugary goodness and/or concentrated artificial flavor that one looks forward to being left in the milk after finishing a super sugary cereal. Heck, about the only good thing I can say about this cereal is that it tastes better if eaten as a snack right out of the box, or if used as an air freshener (the newly opened bag smelled like a stale cupcake, which was actually very appealing) for your college dorm room.
I guess I should have expected as much. America has declared a war against sugary kids cereals, and with only 10 grams of sugar per serving, this cereal really did sound too good to be true. I guess what I was expecting, or at least what I wanted, was a marshmallow version of Fruity or Cocoa Pebbles, which this cereal is definitely not. Not that creating such an awesome combination isn’t impossible, but thanks to Post’s brilliant design team, I’ll now have to buy two separate cereals and meticulously pick of the marshmallows in one and add them to the other. Darn you Post, darn you and your devious marketing ways. Sure, you may win the hearts and minds of mom’s around the country by slightly lowering the sugar on your latest creation (although that’s unlikely) but you risk losing the support of your most ardent and nostalgic of supporters.
Pros: Smells like stale cupcake frosting, which actually is very attractive. Marshmallow goodness. 10 grams of sugar per serving. "Excellent" source of Vitamin D. Hardly any fat.
Cons: Not nearly sweet enough. Vanilla graham pieces are small and lack even artificial flavor once in milk. Uneven distribution of marshmallows. Not filling up the whole bag. Fighting my sister for the few marshmallow pieces. Wasting milk. Bird food. Ugh.
Price: 2.00 (on sale at Weis)
Overall GrubGrade: 4.75 (Poor)
More Info: PostCereals.com
Serving Size: 3/4 cup (27 g)
Total Fat: 0.5g
Saturated Fat: 0g
Trans Fat: 0g
Sodium: 70 mg
Potassium: 40 mg
Total Carbs: 24g
Fiber: Less than 1 g