Casual Breakfast Review Rundown, Entry Number 2: Shoney’s
I have only eaten at Shoney’s once before in my life. I was a teenager and have no recollection of it at all. Before this review, I always thought of Shoney’s as the place old people go to dine when death is mere moments away. Sort of like a whale beaching itself at a mediocre buffet. Other than a friend of mine who worked at Shoney’s in high school, I know pretty much nothing about the restaurant. A Google search revealed that is is related to Bob’s Big Boy, and there are a few hundred Shoney’s spread out across the country. Apparently, they are known for their breakfast buffet. I decided to dodge said buffet because it looked about as sad as the bucket of stale cookies one can find handed out at a methadone clinic. Unlike fine wine, I don’t prefer a good vintage of scrambled eggs. Thus, I opted for the All-Star Breakfast.Shoney’s describes the All-Star Breakfast like this:
Two freshly cracked eggs-your-way* and your choice of sausage or crispy bacon. Note: It also came with toast and “Breakfast Potatoes”
Well… this was pretty bad. My eggs were a tad over cooked. Which is no big deal really. The bacon was really salty and a tad sweet. Basically okay-ish bacon, and they have Tabasco. Unfortunately, the potatoes were maybe the worst I’ve ever had. Even outside of breakfast spuds in general, these might reign supreme as the crappiest potatoes/homefries to grace a human’s plate. They were cold, not just flavorless but they actually tasted bad, unseasoned, and possibly diseased. I’m pretty sure it was potatoes like this that lead to my Irish ancestors moving to this country from Ireland a few generations ago. If this seems like I’m going a bit too far, I’m not. The plain boiled potatoes served at the concentration camp in Empire of the Sun would have been a welcomed surprise compared to this. My wheat toast was just that, and at $5.99 the price would be fair if my food wasn’t a pile of mediocrity coupled with an aspiring prison-food side dish.I’m mildly interested in the burgers now that I know of the relation to Bob’s Big Boy, but unless you are an early morning food masochist, stay far away from Shoney’s. Actually, this might not be the worst place to break up with a significant other. The food should overshadow any hard feelings someone might have. Check out my first entry into the Casual Breakfast Review Rundown series for a much better breakfast option.
Pros: I am now done writing about Shoney's.
Cons: Even at it's best, McDonald's blows Shoney's away. Fortunately, other restaurants exist. I always want to pronounce "Jimmy Buffet" as "Jimmy Buff-ay". I don't really like Jimmy Buffet.
Grubbing on-the-go: N/A
Overall GrubGrade: 3.00/10
More Info: http://www.Shoneys.com/