You’re Only Young Once: Twinkie Pizzas, Balanced Breakfasts, and Soda Curiosity

Those of you who read this blog regularly know that I’m approaching the end of my undergraduate experience. A bunch of people keep telling me that I should be excited, but to tell you the truth, I find approaching the ‘real world’ to be among the scariest things I’ve ever gone through in my life. But before some corporate 9-5 job sucks my soul away (if I’m lucky, otherwise I better find a nice cardboard box) I decided to live it up with a few friends of mine in one last hoorah of college shenanigans.

Of course, out here in Utah, shenanigans take on a different meaning when it comes to the whole food and drink thing. You won’t find my friends and I busting into kegs and roasting whole animals, but that doesn’t mean we won’t indulge a nostalgic sense of gluttony every once in a while. No, we’re a little braver than that, and we’re willing to push the boundaries of long-held food myths. For most among these myths, a definite “no-no” that’s been held ever since the release of Heavyweights in 1995. But as the following video shows, it turns out that this breaking this dogma of pizza and junk food eating may not nearly be as taboo as I thought:

Turns out you really CAN put Twinkies on your pizza (more specifically, a Papa Murphy’s Take and Bake), and that doing so won’t kill you. Actually, you might even enjoy it. Hey, what’s not to love about salty-sweet combos? We sure were glad to put this myth to rest.

Amazingly, the Twinkie slices stayed intact.

Cooling stage - very underrated

I highly suggest it!

Of course, we’re not just out to bust myths, but to confirm theories that other, less health conscious individuals might not have the courage to test. While few people are willing to embrace three vitamin packed cereals at the same time, we can indeed confirm that the combination of Waffle Crisp, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Cocoa Puffs is not only this part of a balanced breakfast, but works surprisingly well served with frozen whipped topping instead of milk.

Part of this complete breakfast.

Our goal was to eat as many chemicals as possible. I'd say we did it!

No joke, this is really solid!

In all honesty, this was a really good time. It’s easy to get too caught up in the seriousness of food politics these days – and I’m not trying to advocate these kinds of things as a regular part of anyone’s diet – but at the end of the day, the sense of nostalgia that comes with a big bowl of sugary cereal, and the sense of adventure that comes with Twinkies on your pizza (and I seriously would do that again) is harmless. What about you? If you could have a nostalgia food party, what would you include? What childhood favorites or out of the box ideas would you come up with? Let us know!

18 comments on “You’re Only Young Once: Twinkie Pizzas, Balanced Breakfasts, and Soda Curiosity

  1. Kevin says:

    Send your parents a letter with this printed out on a few pages wrapped in a sheet of paper reading “I’ve been cooking my own food”

  2. Aimee says:

    Hi-C Hula Cooler. Pizzerias chips. TAB with real saccharine so it tastes how I remember it. Same for Pepsi Light. Choco-Bliss. Jumpin Jack cheese Doritos. Keebler Krunch Twists. Sharkleberry Fin Kool-Aid. Crumbcakes the way they made them in the 70′s. There was a frozen dinner I would get to have if I was babysat, it was a seafood sampler with a crabcake, fish fillet, a few shrimps, and some clams. Can’t remember the manufacturer, but it had a blue box. Bar None. Pink Lemonade bubble gum.

  3. SkippyMom says:

    A twinkie pizza? You are my HERO! I agree [see, I can] that it isn’t an everyday thing, but the idea is brilliance. And it actually looks good. Also thank you for the idea of whipped topping on cereal. I think I can get Momma points if I indulge the kids once with that.

    Congrats on your upcoming graduation! Very exciting.

  4. mitchery says:

    I love pizza and twinkies so this intrigues me. I recently watched a movie called Flakes and it was about a restaurant that serves nothing but cereal and they will even mix up whatever cereals you want. I think that would be a brilliant idea. I would like to see the Spiderman cereal or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cereal come back again. I know they were just spiderman and turtle marsh mellow cutouts thrown into Rice Chex but man was it good.

  5. Mattitude says:

    Have you been smoking a pound of weed followed by lines of blow? That is the only way somone in thier right mind would consider this “food” or “delicious”

  6. Murray says:

    Not my idea, but a friend of a friend once thought up the idea (possibly while high) of having a pizza with mini-pizzas as toppings. Then a few years ago, I saw this in The Onion.

    Same dude once made a “breakfast meat salad”. Ingredients were bacon, sausage links, sausage patties, and canadian bacon. Toss and serve.

  7. Jessica says:

    Don’t lie… you were stoned out of your mind weren’t you?

  8. Chuck says:

    Haha twinkie on pizza it awesome! Happy Easter Adam!

    And you’re killllllling me on the Waffle Crisp!! My party would have cereal and Oreo O’s… and French Toast Crunch- remember the original version, before they changed it??http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CESdLv5Sa_o

  9. Chefprotoss or dan says:

    OMFG!!! TMNT cereal was the best ever!!! The awesomeness of checks soaking up the milk and still being crunchy, plus delicious marshmallows is pure flavortastisity! To top it off it was based on the greatest cartoon/comic/movies/toys/live musical act/green pudding filled fruit pie ever! If you don’t find the turtle van nostalgic, you are seriously missing out and too bad for you because that generational ship has sailed.

    On a side note, isn’t Tab fantastic Adam?

    • Adam says:

      @ Dan
      Actually, TAB is pretty good. I’m still a Coke Zero fan, but I can see why it has such a cult following. There are so many cereals I only kinda remember that I wish were still around. I think Sprinkle Sprangle was one of them!
      @ Francois
      Well I guess somebody never learned that it’s ok to have a sense of humor with your food :)
      @ Jessica,
      That’s what 50 grams of sugar from kids cereals does to me. Don’t hate :)
      @Skippy,
      I could see this as a once in a lifetime birthday treat, but feed to your children at your own risk haha!
      @Everyone,
      Lighten up, and if you just looked at the pictures and skimmed over the text, check out the last paragraph.

    • mitchery says:

      haha awesome I like to see that someone shares the same likes in cereal as me…as well as everything turtles…turtle power forever.

  10. Francois says:

    That was one of the most awkward first pizza bites that I’ve ever seen. Particularly when at one point part of the bite came back out onto the slice, then slurped back into his mouth.

    Screw the blog. Just post videos of you awkwardly chewing on things. They don’t need to even be food items.

  11. Shannon says:

    If I could I would have Hooplas, Keebler Krunch Twists, Ripplins, O’Boisies, Pizzerias, and Nacho Cheese Cheetos.

  12. Jeff says:

    hell yeah I loves me some TaB. Luckily the local Publix carries it so I get as many cases as I can when they go 4/$12

  13. Vanessa says:

    My party would consist of about 7 gallons of ice cream with all the topping one could imagine….I would eat more than anybody that comes!! I’ve never met anyone that could eat more ice cream than me. Congrats on the graduation coming soon!!! Celebrate with ice cream!!!:)

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  15. ChrisLad says:

    Fun post Adam. Seems tempting to try. You’ve earned your upcoming degree.

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